No Ordinary Life
Two weeks ago I started chemotherapy for the fifth time. I should be freaked out, but I'm not. Can I possibly be used to this insanity? My only question is how much can one body take? I know I am strong, but I also know that I am not invincible.
I have one thing that is constantly keeping me fighting. My kids. Taylor is only 11 years old. I couldn't bear the thought of Raquel, Jordan and Phillip going through their teenage years with out me, now 17 years later, I feel the same fear for her.
For the past 10 months since I finished my last round of chemo, I have been watching my tumor markers rise. They finally hit the point that chemo was started.
Death doesn't scare me. Leaving my family terrifies me.
That being said, the past two weeks I have been on a mission to find what is triggering my recurrences. Yes, I am BRCA1 positive. That is a predisposed genetic mutation for breast and ovarian cancer. But five times. Really. It sounds ridiculous even to me as it exits my own mouth.
I have been researching foods, herbs, and everything in between. There are convincing arguements out there for so many things. A person could go broke trying everything that is "proven" to cure cancer.
I am open to listening to anyone's theory. email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Ha! We all know that isn't true. I have plenty to say about many things. As I've aged I have learned to tame my tongue and think before I speak. Now as I am aging more, I know my experiences do help others. So today I am starting a blog.
This is a carry over from my Facebook postings and will allow me to go more in depth without "wearing out my welcome" with my FB friends who could care less what happy things I am talking about or wonder how I can possibly remain happy and have a positive attitude when my life is shall we say...not ordinary.
It's so funny because growing up in a small town I prayed about never wanting to be ordinary. I was determined to make a difference and I hated mediocrity. Now I can honestly say I have had that prayer answered. Not really in the fashion I had "thought" it would be, but as we know we should pray and be specific.
I am a four time cancer survivor. I have been happily married and not so happily divorced and remarried again and happily divorced and remarried yet again. I have had a career producing television that I am proud of. I have four amazing children of my own. Three amazing stepdaughters and a child who God saw fit to bring into my life and she too is claimed as "mine".
I have had an amazingly difficult life filled with many joyous moments and many painful times. But I can never say it has been an ordinary life.
Currently I am a professional speaker nationally about surviving cancer, educating anyone who will listen about the BRCA gene test that saved my life. I am also the Founder of Moms with Cancer. A great 501 (c) (3) organization that was started to help other Moms who were being treated for a cancer diagnosis.
I have met the most beautiful people through cancer. I never in any way wanted my life to revolve around something that destroys people, families and friends. My life does revovle around cancer on a daily basis. This is a fact I have to accept. I can fight it and be mad and miserable or I can accept this truth and do positive things with it. I choose to be happy.
If it is not others cancer it is my own. I am ever the optimist. Now I know for certain that this can be and in my life is welcomed as a chronic disease. I will do chemo as many times as I need to. I will surgically remove any parts that are a threat to my life and I will certainly walk around bald with my head held high and a smile on my face.
I have much more living to do. I still have goals. I will always have more to do and not enough time no matter how I feel. That is what this blog is about... my commitment to No Ordinary Life!